13 Reasons Why Mental Health Matters to Juana Estrada

As I talked to junior Juana Estrada, I couldn’t help but think about the fictional character of Hannah Baker featured in Netflix’s newest series, 13 Reasons Why. The series has been getting a lot of buzz from around the world, due to its raw portrayal of bullying, sexual assault and suicide as you follow Baker’s journey to understand why she took her life. Both Estrada and Baker embody what it means to resemble strength and courage during moments of darkness. Viewers had their heart strings tugged as they watched Baker present 13 tapes to her classmates, documenting the traumatic events leading up to her suicide. Although Estrada didn’t offer me tapes, I couldn’t help but feel the same emotion that I had felt when watching the series, as I listened to her own individual story. From being a Leukemia survivor, to the overwhelming pressure of being a first-generation student, I was in awe at all that a woman could experience before she could even legally buy a drink.

What’s special about both Estrada’s and Baker’s stories is that they are able to shine light into what mental health looks like when you are a woman. Fighting a battle with your mind, on top of society’s double standards, the male gaze and the continuous objectification of your body can take a toll on someone. It’s easy to assume when you walk past Estrada on DePaul’s campus that she has it all together. Always serving a radiant smile and on the surface it seems that her spirit is indestructible. However, underneath the beauty is a young woman that understands what it means to feel broken just like Baker.

Nevertheless, she has persisted and she’s done so with style and grace. After reflecting on her trials and tribulations throughout her life, Estrada has decided to take her experiences and put them towards her passion, her writing. LaMorenitaJuanita, a blog dedicated to exploring cross-cultural experiences through fashion, was created by Estrada with the hope of creating atool of empowerment for the many who don’t have the means to lift themselves out of their endeavors.” Estrada has not only been able to use her blog as a form of self-expression for her own thoughts and style, but also as an outlet to uplift other women, such as through her #womenempowerment series, “Expressing Confidence Through Your Style.”

With writing being Estrada’s muse, what better way to tell her story than in the same manner. So here’s Juana Estrada, live and in-stereo, and if you’re listening to this you are about find out the 13 reasons why mental health matters to her.

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If you or anyone you know is suicidal call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) to be connected to a trained counselor at a suicide crisis center nearest you.

Don’t ever give up on yourself. Find out your reasons why your mental health matters.

Anxious Mind (Part 1)

I can’t explain it
Or put it into words
So I guess I look like a madman
I feel like a madman

Not being able to describe these feelings
Heightens the sensations even more
My throat is closing up, chest is pounding
As I try to find a word that fits best

If I don’t I’ll be perceived as unintelligent
Then you’ll twist your face
And say I don’t understand
Not knowing what you just triggered

I don’t like being misunderstood
But how can one understand something
That I’ve been trying to figure our since
I was 12 years old.

That may or may not be the age
I don’t know for sure
But I do know when my aura
Has been altered

I shouldn’t be writing this
Because I’m wasting time
That I won’t be able to get back
And that only will make things worse

But you see I need this right now
And when I’m better
Someone else will read this
And need this too

So I’m going to keep at it
Even if you’ve stopped reading
Saying it’s too long
And that you get the point

My worst enemy
And my best friend
I guess also my motivator
Is my mind

It races at a speed
That one can’t calculate
Even if they tried
Trust me

Breathe.

I just want a remote
To press pause
On a world that moves
Too damn fast

You know what I want
To just clear my thoughts
And then not let it drift
Into the unknown.

Or into the impossible.
Or into the repressed emotions.
Or into the unforgettable .
Or into the road ahead.

To go on Facebook
And scroll away
Not feeling pressured
To share everything that connects

To me.
You see we’re living in a age
Where we’re connecting through
Likes. Shares. Comments. Re-tweets.

I’ll be honest
Somethings I don’t read fully.
That doesn’t mean I’m uneducated.
I’ll read it later. I promise. I hope.

But most of these I do read.
And they’re beautiful
And sometimes emotional
And sometimes just too damn real

Since when did we all get so political
I’m woke.
Too woke.
That I can’t sleep.

Oppression. Privilege. Every ism.
I get it.
For christ sake.
I’m a gay black Christian man.

Not saying these things don’t matter.
They do. It’s time for a change.
But I’m focused on fixing.
And forgetting about living.

Focused on educating “the hate”
But what about lifting up “the love”
Love. I love love.
I live for love.

Love gives me energy.
Energy to be great.
Nourishment for my soul
And replenishment for my body

Too bad with it comes heartache.
And fear that pain can happen twice.
But I’m a hopeless romantic.
So I’ll never get off that roller-coaster

I fall quickly.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Loved ones thinks that’s my problem
I think it’s my advantage

Friendships. Ties. Bonds.
I make those in seconds.
With that forms a deep line
Of compassion that’s unbreakable.